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3D: Hollywood is so last century.

As previously mentioned I went to the cinema last night. Walking past the ticket man with his fancy ticket-ripping fingers, I browsed the impressive cardboard advertisements and posters for up coming films. I have to say that the face of Cinema is starting to scare me. Hollywood seems to be going through some mid-life crisis. I was disappointed to say the least at the bland display of upcoming ‘blockbusters’. I remember, as a child, becoming hit with tingles of ancipation, filled with almost shaking excitement at the sight of something new and exciting. But as I walked through the brightly lit corridor, it seemed empty and lifeless.

To elaborate, I was brought to the attention of the re-showing of Star Wars: Episode 1 and Titanic, both updated into 3D. This fad must be stopped; this is not the 80’s, 3D has been done, it’s time for something fresh. Everyone looks like a complete idiot sat there staring at the screen with these box glasses on. It’s like something from a 1980’s sci-fi film. For most people, the ending result is nausea and disorientation. This may be a thrill to some people but who wants to pay an extra four or five pounds to see something move out of the screen? Save it for the theme parks.

As much as I agree that old films should be re-shown at the cinema, I would prefer it to be because of their already magical quality to whisk you to that Galaxy far far way. Would anyone really want to sit there and watch the reality of five hundred odd 3rd class passengers fall out of the screen to their deaths on your lap?

As a tremendous Harry Potter fan – I was outraged last year to find that both midnight screenings of the film at my local Odeon were in 3D. I went along, because well, it’s Harry Potter but I also saw it again a few days later in a regular 2D showing and honestly noticed no difference other than the screen being smaller because it wasn’t the IMAX. Perhaps I’ve become highly cynical of cinema but true cinematic experience comes from quality and quality is bred from excellence and no amount of three-dimensional effect is going to add the wow-factor to a bullshit film. Or indeed, make an original cinematic masterpiece better.

Get some original insight, some new writers and start again, Hollywood.

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